Attachment Style Quiz

What are the four attachment styles?

The main styles are Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized. Secure people are comfortable with closeness and independence. Anxious people want a lot of reassurance and worry about losing connection. Avoidant people value independence and may pull back when emotions run high, while Disorganized people want closeness but also feel unsafe or overwhelmed in intimacy.

What causes an attachment style to form?

Attachment patterns grow out of early caregiving and repeated relationship experiences. Consistent, responsive care tends to build security, while inconsistency, emotional distance, or frightening experiences can tilt a person toward anxious, avoidant, or disorganized patterns. Temperament, stress, and later relationships also shape how these patterns show up in adulthood.

Can my attachment style change?

Yes. Attachment style is a pattern, not a life sentence. Safe relationships, therapy, and intentional habits can move you toward secure functioning. Skills like naming needs, co-regulating during conflict, and practicing small repair conversations help rewire expectations of closeness.

How can couples with different styles work well together?

Make the pattern the problem, not each other. Agree on simple rituals that meet both needs, like a daily check-in for connection and clear plans for solo time. During conflict, slow down, name what you are feeling, and use brief repair moves such as a timeout with a plan to reconnect. Repeating small successes builds trust and a more secure bond over time.