ADHD in Kids: How to Spot the Signs and Support Your Child
All kids can be rambunctious or unfocused at times – so how do you tell the difference between normal childhood behavior and ADHD? Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects an estimated 6–10% of children in the U.S.. It’s not caused by “bad” parenting or a lack of effort; kids with ADHD have brain-based differences that make it hard to concentrate, sit still, or control impulses. In my practice and in my own home I’ve seen how ADHD can show up in unexpected ways. Some kids are bouncing off the walls while others are quietly struggling to keep up. It’s not always obvious but it’s always real. The good news is, with understanding and the right support, children with ADHD can absolutely thrive.
In this guide, I will break down child ADHD symptoms and red flags to watch for, including how ADHD may look different in girls vs. boys. We’ll also explore why some kids with ADHD behave differently at school than at home, and share how to help your child with ADHD through effective parenting strategies and support. Whether your child has a new diagnosis or you’re just starting to suspect ADHD, this article will give you practical insights from our child therapy team here in Parker, Colorado.
Signs and Symptoms of ADHD in Children
ADHD symptoms generally fall into two categories: inattention symptoms and hyperactivity/impulsivity symptoms. Some children primarily have inattentive features (historically called “ADD”), others have mostly hyperactive-impulsive traits, and many have a combination of both. Here are common signs to look for:
Inattention – What it Looks Like: Your child might have a very hard time focusing on tasks or following instructions. They may daydream a lot and appear “in their own world” at times. Kids with inattentive symptoms often forget things easily – like misplacing homework, jackets, toys – or they seem not to listen when you’re speaking directly to them. You might notice they start chores or assignments but don’t finish because they get sidetracked. They can be disorganized (backpack a mess of papers, desk overflowing with items). In class, they might miss details, make careless mistakes on simple work, or need directions repeated multiple times. It’s not that they won’t pay attention – it’s that they can’t sustain attention well, especially on mundane tasks. These children may be quietly “tuning out” rather than disruptive, so their ADHD can be overlooked at first.
Hyperactivity/Impulsivity – What it Looks Like: This is the classic “can’t sit still” behavior people often associate with ADHD. A child with hyperactive symptoms is in constant motion – tapping their feet, fidgeting with anything nearby, or leaving their seat when expected to stay put. They may climb or run at inappropriate times (like doing laps around the living room during a calm activity). Many talk excessively or very loudly, and blurt out thoughts without filtering. Impulsivity shows up as acting without thinking: grabbing something they want, interrupting conversations or class, having trouble waiting their turn. These kids might also take unsafe risks on a whim (jumping from high places, darting into the street on a bike) because the urge hits before the caution kicks in. They often struggle with self-control – for example, blurting answers before a question is finished, or hitting a sibling when upset before they can stop themselves. Hyperactive-impulsive children can be very “on the go” from morning till night, which is exhausting for parents and teachers alike.
It’s important to note that ADHD isn’t defined by one or two of these behaviors – it’s a pattern of many symptoms that are persistent (present for at least 6 months), evident before roughly age 12, and occurring in more than one setting (like home and school). A child who only has issues at school but is completely fine at home (or vice versa) might be dealing with something other than ADHD. Also, ADHD symptoms exist on a spectrum from mild to severe. One child might just be a bit inattentive and disorganized, while another is extremely impulsive and active to the point of disrupting their daily life.
If you suspect ADHD, start observing and maybe jotting down patterns. Do you see multiple signs? How often and in what situations? This information will be very useful if you decide to seek a professional evaluation later.
ADHD in Girls vs. Boys: Key Differences
ADHD affects both boys and girls, but it doesn’t always look the same. In fact, boys are about three times more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than girls. Experts believe this gap exists not because girls don’t have ADHD, but because their symptoms are often more subtle and thus overlooked.
Generally, boys with ADHD tend to show more externalizing behaviors – think hyperactivity and impulsivity that draws attention. A boy with ADHD might be the one clowning around loudly, unable to stay in his seat, or blurting out answers in class. These behaviors are noticeable (and sometimes disruptive), so they are flagged earlier by teachers and parents.
On the other hand, girls with ADHD are more likely to have internalized symptoms. Instead of acting out, they might appear spacey, daydreamy, or just quietly inattentive. For example, a girl with ADHD might sit quietly in class but miss half the lesson because her mind wandered. She might be disorganized, often losing things or having an impossibly messy desk, yet since she isn’t hyperactive, teachers might label her simply as “ditzy” or “not trying hard enough.” Girls are also more prone to compensate by working extremely hard to maintain grades or by being socially quiet, so their struggles fly under the radar.
There’s also a difference in aggression: boys with ADHD might be more physically impulsive (e.g. hitting or pushing in frustration), whereas girls might show verbal impulsivity or emotional impulsivity, like blurting out hurtful comments or crying easily. Because girls often don’t fit the stereotype of the “hyperactive boy,” they frequently aren’t identified as ADHD until later in childhood, or even the teen years when academic and organizational demands increase.
Undiagnosed ADHD in girls can have hidden costs. Research suggests that girls whose ADHD isn’t recognized tend to develop low self-esteem and may be at higher risk for issues like anxiety, depression, or eating disorders in adolescence. Think about it: a girl who struggles to focus might internally blame herself for not being “good enough” or fear that she’s not smart, when in reality she has ADHD. One study noted that girls often turn their pain inward – which can lead to feeling bad about themselves – while boys tend to act out their frustration. This means it’s crucial to spot ADHD in girls early so they get support and don’t go through years feeling like something is “wrong” with them.
So what should you look for in girls? Many of the same signs as boys, but pay close attention to inattention: difficulty following multi-step directions, frequently drifting off in her own thoughts, chronic disorganization, or needing significantly more effort/time to keep up with schoolwork. Also notice if she’s unusually forgetful or inconsistent (one day she can do something, the next day it’s like she’s never heard the instructions). If a girl is very chatty or social, watch for impulsivity in speech – does she interrupt or jump topics a lot? If she’s more shy, notice if she seems to “check out” mentally. Comparing how she functions relative to peers can help; if other kids her age can pack their backpack and get out the door but she’s always the one scrambling, that’s a sign.
Ultimately, every child is unique. Some girls are hyperactive, some boys are inattentive – but understanding these common patterns can help ensure all kids with ADHD, regardless of gender, get the help they need.
How ADHD Shows Up at Home vs. School
It’s not uncommon for parents to say, “My child keeps it together at school, but at home he’s out of control!” or the opposite, “She’s a terror at school, but we don’t see those behaviors at home.” Kids with ADHD often have variable behavior depending on the setting. Here’s why:
Structured Environment vs. Unstructured: Schools (especially good schools for kids with ADHD) tend to have clear structure, routines, and immediate consequences or rewards. Many children with ADHD actually benefit from this structure – it’s like guardrails that keep them on track. For instance, in a well-run classroom, there are visual schedules, reminder cues, and a teacher supervising, which can help an inattentive child stay focused. A very structured school environment can “prop up” an ADHD child’s weak executive functioning skills. However, once that structure is removed (like when the child gets home), they might release all the pent-up impulses they’ve been holding in all day. Imagine a kid who has spent 6 hours working really hard to not yell, not fidget too much, and to finish tasks – by the time they get home, they’re mentally exhausted. The result: home becomes the safe place to let it all out, which can look like intense hyperactivity, defiance, or emotional meltdowns in the evening.
“Kids with ADHD aren’t being inconsistent on purpose. Different environments bring out different challenges—and home is often where they feel safe enough to let it all out.”
On the other hand, some children have a tougher time at school because the academic and social demands overwhelm their ADHD challenges. Sitting still for a long time, keeping track of assignments, filtering out distractions in a big class – these can be extremely challenging for a child with ADHD. At home, the same child might be fine playing video games or building with Legos for hours (activities they’re interested in, with less demand on their weak attention skills). So you might hear from the teacher that your child is “bouncing off the walls” or unfocused all day, whereas you haven’t seen those extremes at home. This doesn’t mean the teacher is wrong – it likely means the school environment is drawing out the ADHD symptoms more, while at home your child has more freedom to do things in their own ADHD-friendly way.
Different Expectations: Kids are remarkably good at sensing expectations in different settings. Many children with ADHD hold it together in public because they know they have to (there’s an authority figure or fear of embarrassment). When they come home to parents, they feel more unconditional acceptance and thus might not feel the same pressure to hide symptoms. It’s a compliment in a way. It means your child feels safe with you, but it can be very challenging to deal with the fallout.
Sometimes it’s reversed: a child behaves relatively well at home (where consequences might be immediate and customized) but falls apart at school because the larger setting is too stimulating or the consequences aren’t as meaningful to them. For example, at home you might instantly correct or redirect a behavior, whereas a teacher with 20 kids can’t give that immediate feedback all the time.
Coexisting Conditions and Context: Keep in mind that differences in behavior could also indicate something other than ADHD, or something in addition to ADHD. If your child only melts down at home, perhaps there’s an anxiety component where they’re holding it in at school and releasing at home (common in kids with both ADHD and anxiety). If they only act out at school, maybe a learning disability or sensory issue is making school especially frustrating. ADHD is often context-dependent – symptoms have to appear in multiple settings for a formal diagnosis – so it’s worth examining what’s happening across environments.
Collaborate and Communicate: The best approach is to work with your child’s teacher and compare notes. It’s very helpful for parents and teachers to communicate regularly in an honest, non-judgmental way. If you’re seeing wild hyperactivity at home every day after school, let the teacher know; maybe your child is using every ounce of energy to focus in class and has nothing left for homework – a sign that perhaps classroom supports could be increased or homework load adjusted. Likewise, if the teacher reports extreme behavior you don’t see, consider spending some time observing the class (if possible) or discussing triggers: is it worse at certain times (mornings vs afternoons) or subjects? That can yield clues.
It can also help to implement some structure at home similar to school. For example, if your child thrives on a visual schedule at school, create one for home; if they respond well to positive reinforcement at school (like earning points for good behavior), try a sticker chart or token system at home. Bridging the gap can make behavior more consistent.
Lastly, understand that neither the teacher nor the parent is necessarily doing something “wrong” to cause the different behaviors. It’s just the nature of ADHD – context matters. By recognizing this, you can address your child’s needs in each setting without playing the blame game. The goal is for your child to feel and do their best everywhere.
(If you need personalized guidance, a child therapist or ADHD coach can often observe and give tailored strategies for home and school. In our practice, we often work closely with teachers and parents together so the child gets consistent support.)
Parenting Tips: How to Help Your Child with ADHD
While ADHD can make parenting more challenging, structure and positive strategies at home can dramatically improve daily life. Here are some proven tips to support your child with ADHD:
Establish Consistent Routines: Kids with ADHD thrive on routine and predictability. Set up a daily schedule for mornings, after school, and bedtime – and stick to it as much as possible. For example, after school routine might be: snack, play for 30 minutes, then homework at 4 PM, dinner at 6 PM, chill time at 7 PM, bed at 8 PM. Post the schedule where your child can see it (use pictures for younger kids). Give warnings before transitions (e.g. “10 minutes until we start homework”). When life is predictable, there are fewer surprises to trigger impulsive reactions, and your child knows what comes next.
Set Clear Rules and Expectations: Be explicit and simple about what behaviors are expected. Kids with ADHD don’t do well with unspoken or implied rules – they need it spelled out. For instance, instead of “Behave in the store,” list what that means: “Stay next to me, inside voice, hands to yourself.” It also helps to remind them of rules before entering a challenging situation (“We’re going into the library now – remember, quiet voices and walking feet”). Make sure consequences for breaking rules are immediate and consistent, but focus more on guiding good behavior than punishing bad. In practice, that means praising them when they do follow rules (“I like how you stayed by my side in the store!”) and giving quick, calm corrections when they don’t (“Oops, remember – no grabbing. Please ask first.”). Consistency between caregivers is key: everyone should enforce the rules similarly so your child knows the boundaries for sure.
Use Positive Reinforcement: Catch your child being good, even in small ways. Positive reinforcement is one of the most effective tools for shaping behavior in ADHD. Compliment and reward effort, not just results. For example, if homework is usually a battle but today your child sat for 10 minutes and completed one worksheet, praise that: “Great job focusing on that worksheet – I’m proud of you.” Some families use reward systems like sticker charts or point systems. Make the rewards attainable and immediate at first (e.g., earn a star for each task done without a fight, and 3 stars = 10 minutes of a favorite game with Dad). Be specific with praise (“You waited your turn so nicely in the game!” rather than just “Good job”) so they know what behavior to repeat. Positive feedback boosts your child’s self-esteem and motivates them far more than constant criticism. Of course, negative behaviors may still need consequences, but try to balance every correction with several praises for good behaviors.
Help Them Stay Organized: Organization is a skill many kids with ADHD lack, so they need external supports. Work with your child to set up an organized environment. This could include: a designated quiet area for homework with minimal distractions (e.g., desk in a calm corner, away from TV or siblings); checklists or picture charts for routines (like a morning checklist: get dressed, brush teeth, pack lunch, etc.); a big family calendar with color-codes for each child’s activities; labeled bins or folders for school papers and toys. Declutter their workspace to reduce distractions – keep only necessary supplies out during homework time. You might set up a simple filing system for school: e.g., an “Inbox” tray at home where your child puts all school papers for you to see each day, and an “Outbox” for things that go back. Teaching organization can be tedious, so make it fun: turn cleaning their room into a timed game, or use visuals like brightly colored folders they pick out. Initially, you’ll need to guide and remind every single day, but over time, with repetition, they’ll start internalizing some of the order.
Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: Large tasks often overwhelm kids with ADHD – they don’t know where to start, so they don’t start at all. Chunk big tasks into bite-sized pieces. For example, instead of saying “Clean your room,” say “First, put all the Legos in the bin. Great, now put dirty clothes in the hamper.” For homework, if they have 20 math problems, have them do 5, then take a short break, then the next 5, and so on. Use a timer if that helps (like 10 minutes of work, then a 2-minute stretch break). Visually breaking tasks down can help too – maybe cover parts of a worksheet with paper and reveal one row at a time so it doesn’t look so long. Celebrate when each part is done (“Awesome, you finished step 1!”). Over time, they can learn to break tasks down themselves, but initially they’ll need you to model it. This approach prevents the shutdown that can happen when an ADHD child faces a huge, seemingly endless task.
Minimize Distractions and Limit Screen Time: During homework or any task that requires focus, do what you can to create a distraction-free bubble. That might mean siblings play in another room, the TV is off, and the study area is away from tempting toys. Some kids focus better with neutral background music or noise-cancelling headphones – experiment to see what helps. Also be mindful of screen time in general: too much recreational screen use (video games, YouTube, etc.) can worsen attention spans or make kids more irritable when they have to transition off the screen. Set clear limits on screen time and ensure plenty of unplugged activities (like outdoor play, reading, or hands-on hobbies). For some kids, using screen time as a reward after chores/homework is done can be motivating, but make sure the promise of the screen doesn’t distract them during the work (you might need to use a timer or parental control that unlocks the tablet only at a set time, so they’re not nagging for it).
Encourage Physical Activity and Rest: One of the best natural outlets for hyperactivity is exercise. Encourage your child to engage in sports, dance, martial arts, or even just free play outside on a daily basis. Physical activity helps burn off excess energy and can actually improve focus and mood after. For example, a quick 15-minute jump on the trampoline or a bike ride before homework can sometimes help a child settle down to concentrate. Additionally, prioritize sleep – ADHD can cause sleep difficulties, and lack of sleep in turn exacerbates ADHD symptoms. Establish a calming bedtime routine and a consistent sleep schedule. If your child has a lot of energy at night, try doing something active after dinner, then transition to quiet time (warm bath, reading). Adequate sleep and exercise won’t eliminate ADHD, but they significantly improve self-regulation.
Use Visual Aids and Timers: Many kids with ADHD are visual learners. Charts, picture schedules, and color coding can make abstract concepts (like time and sequence) more concrete. A timer can be a great tool as well – for instance, say “Let’s see how much of your worksheet you can get done in 10 minutes” and set a timer. The urgency and game-ification of a timer can spur a child into action. Visual timers that show the passage of time (like a clock face that turns red and the red shrinks as time counts down) are especially helpful for kids who haven’t mastered the concept of time. Also consider visual cues for behavior: maybe a discreet hand signal with your child that means “oops, you’re getting off task” or a sticky note on their desk that says “FOCUS” as a gentle reminder. These little prompts can redirect them without constant verbal scolding.
Work Closely with Teachers and Caregivers: You don’t have to (and shouldn’t) do this alone. Partner with your child’s teacher, school counselors, and any other caregivers (coaches, after-school program staff) so everyone’s on the same page. Regular communication is key – perhaps a daily or weekly behavior chart that goes between school and home, or a quick email check-in plan with the teacher. Share strategies that work at home and ask what works at school. If your child has an IEP or 504 Plan (education plans for accommodations), make sure you understand it and reinforce any school strategies at home. For example, if the teacher uses a certain reward system, you might continue that at home for consistency. Don’t hesitate to advocate for your child: if they would do better sitting in front of the class, or having a fidget tool, bring it up. Most teachers appreciate suggestions because you know your child best. And if challenges continue, you can request a meeting to adjust the support plan or even seek an evaluation for services. A united front between home and school creates a supportive safety net for your child.
Stay Patient and Positive: Parenting an ADHD child can test your patience daily. There will be times you have to repeat yourself a dozen times, or days when every task feels like a battle. When you find yourself losing cool, take a moment (it’s okay to step away briefly to calm down). Remember that your child’s behaviors are due to their ADHD brain wiring, not because they want to make you upset. Consistent negativity or punishment can damage your child’s self-esteem, so try to keep the ratio of positive to negative interactions high. Celebrate the small victories – maybe your son remembered to hang up his coat today, or your daughter sat through dinner without getting up. Those are wins! Use humor where you can. Some families even come up with a secret code word to diffuse tension (something silly that makes you both smile). Taking care of yourself is important too – when you’re rested and supported (perhaps by a parent support group or counselor), you’ll be in a better place to stay positive for your child.
“Structure and consistency are like oxygen for kids with ADHD. When a child knows what to expect, they feel safer, calmer, and more in control. Your routine doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be predictable.”
By implementing these strategies, you’ll likely see improvement over time. Change won’t happen overnight – consistency is crucial. ADHD is a long-term condition, but with structure and support, children can learn coping skills and appropriate behaviors. Many families are amazed at how much better things get with the right interventions in place. Keep in mind that as your child grows, you’ll need to adapt techniques. What works for a 6-year-old (sticker charts, etc.) might not motivate a 12-year-old, who might respond better to earning privilege (like screen time or a later bedtime). Stay flexible and keep involving your child in the process – ask them what rewards they care about, or what ideas they have to make mornings easier. When kids feel some ownership of the solution, they’re more likely to cooperate.
Getting Professional Help for ADHD
If you’ve put structures in place and your child is still struggling greatly, or if you suspect you need additional help, it might be time to consider professional intervention. A comprehensive approach to ADHD often includes behavioral therapy, possible medication, and collaboration with schools. Here’s an overview of ADHD treatment options for children:
Behavioral Therapy and Parent Training
For young children (under 6), behavioral therapy with parent training is the recommended first-line treatment – even before medication. This means you, as the parent, work with a therapist to learn specific behavior management techniques tailored to your child. You’ll cover things like how to reinforce positive behavior, set up token systems, use time-outs effectively, and improve cooperation. The idea is that by changing adult responses and environment, you can greatly improve the child’s behavior. Many parents find this training incredibly empowering – instead of feeling helpless or frustrated, you gain tools that really work.
For older children, therapy might involve more direct work with the child in addition to parent guidance. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help children with ADHD learn skills like organizing their tasks, managing impulses, and handling big feelings. A therapist might teach your child how to use a planner or alarm reminders, how to stop and think “Is this a good idea?” before acting, or strategies for calming down when angry. Social skills training can also be part of therapy if your child has trouble making or keeping friends (learning to take turns, notice others’ cues, etc.). Many families find that a combination of parent-focused and child-focused therapy is ideal – parents learn how to support and set structure, while kids learn techniques to manage their own behavior.
Therapy sessions for ADHD tend to be very practical and goal-oriented. Don’t expect your child to just sit on a couch and talk about feelings for an hour – that’s not how ADHD therapy works! Instead, the therapist will likely play games or engage your child in activities that naturally build attention and self-control. For example, they might play a game like “Simon Says” or “Red Light, Green Light” to practice listening and inhibition in a fun way. Or they might use role-play to practice what to do when frustrated. Good ADHD therapists also liaise with schools when needed – perhaps helping set up a daily report card system between teacher and parent, or suggesting classroom accommodations.
Consistency is crucial: the strategies learned in therapy need to be applied at home (and ideally at school). That’s why your involvement as a parent is so important. Over a few months, many families start to notice less chaos and more compliance as everyone implements the new tools consistently.
(In our practice, we offer ADHD-focused therapy that includes parent check-ins each session. We coach you on strategies, and you share what’s working or not so we can adjust. It’s very much a team effort.)
School Support and Accommodations
Your child’s school plays a big role in ADHD management. Advocating for your child in the school setting can ensure they get the support they need to succeed academically and socially. Start by having an open conversation with your child’s teacher. Share your child’s diagnosis (if you have one) and what strategies seem to help. Ask the teacher what they observe in class and work together on a plan.
Common classroom accommodations for ADHD include:
Preferential seating: sitting at the front of the class or away from distracting peers or windows.
Extra time on tests or assignments: since kids with ADHD may work slower or get distracted, giving them a bit more time can level the playing field.
Breaks and movement: allowing the child to take short movement breaks or do small errands (like handing out papers) can help channel hyperactivity. Some teachers create a signal so the child can quietly stand at their desk or go get a drink of water when needed.
Organizational help: providing duplicate textbooks at home, a second set of materials, or having the teacher sign a homework planner to ensure the assignment is written down correctly. Some schools give kids an “executive functioning coach” or resource teacher who checks their backpack organization daily.
Behavior plans: implementing a reward system in class, like a star chart or points for staying on task, that the teacher manages. This might tie into rewards at home.
Reduced distractions during work: for example, allowing the child to wear headphones or work in a quieter corner during independent work, or providing fidget tools (stress ball, fidget spinner) to use at their desk to channel restlessness.
If your child’s ADHD significantly impacts learning, you can formally request an evaluation for a 504 Plan or an Individualized Education Program (IEP). A 504 Plan provides accommodations (like the ones above) within the regular classroom. An IEP is for kids who qualify for special education; it can include accommodations plus possibly services like time with a special education teacher or counselor if needed. The evaluation process can be initiated by writing a letter to the school or district’s special education coordinator – but often, starting with a conversation with the teacher or school psychologist is a good first step.
Remember: You are your child’s advocate. Don’t be afraid to speak up. You might say, “I’ve noticed my son struggles to copy homework off the board due to attention issues. Can we arrange for the assignments to be emailed to me or written in a planner that you check?” Schools have dealt with ADHD for a long time and often have resources and ideas. If you encounter resistance or stigma, stand firm – the law (under Section 504 and IDEA) supports students with ADHD getting accommodations.
Also involve other caregivers in your child’s life. If your child goes to an after-school program, let them know what strategies help (maybe your child does homework better if he can chew gum or squeeze a stress ball). The more consistent the approach across environments, the better for your child.
Medication: Stimulants and Non-Stimulants
Medication can be a powerful tool for managing ADHD symptoms in children. The idea of medicating your child can be daunting – and it’s absolutely fine to have questions and concerns. Here’s a breakdown of the options:
“It’s completely normal for parents to feel unsure about starting stimulants, especially at a young age. You’re not alone in wanting to understand all your options before making a decision that feels right for your child.”
Stimulant Medications: These are the most commonly prescribed and most extensively studied ADHD meds. They include methylphenidate (known by brand names like Ritalin, Concerta, Focalin) and amphetamines (like Adderall, Vyvanse). Stimulants work by increasing levels of certain neurotransmitters (dopamine and norepinephrine) in the brain that affect focus and impulse control. They tend to be fast-acting – often you see results the same day they’re taken – and about 70–85% of children with ADHD respond well to a stimulant. In fact, stimulants are considered a first-line treatment for school-aged kids with ADHD (often alongside behavior therapy).
Stimulants come in short-acting (4-6 hours) and long-acting (8-12 hours) forms. Long-acting are often preferred for school so the child can get through the day with one dose in the morning. Finding the right medication and dose can take some trial and error – doctors usually “start low and go slow,” adjusting based on feedback from you and teachers.
Common side effects of stimulants can include reduced appetite, difficulty falling asleep, or increased irritability/rebound (as the medicine wears off). Some kids get a bit more anxious or have mild stomachaches or headaches initially. In most cases, these side effects are manageable: for example, adjusting the dose, switching to a different stimulant, or changing dosing schedule can help. Sometimes, giving the dose right after a good breakfast (to counter appetite loss) and offering a nutritious after-school snack in lieu of lunch calories can address eating issues. Serious side effects are rare, but your doctor will monitor things like weight, height (stimulants can slow growth slightly in some kids), and blood pressure.
Non-Stimulant Medications: Non-stimulants are newer alternatives that can be used if stimulants aren’t effective or cause problematic side effects, or if there’s a reason to avoid stimulants (like concern about misuse in a teen, or a coexisting condition that stimulants aggravate). Examples of non-stimulants for ADHD include atomoxetine (Strattera), guanfacine ER (Intuniv), and clonidine ER (Kapvay), and the newest one, viloxazine (Qelbree).
Atomoxetine (Strattera): This is an NRI (norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) which means it increases norepinephrine in the brain to help with attention. It’s taken daily and typically takes a few weeks to build up effect. It’s not a controlled substance (no stimulant properties). Some families prefer it for that reason or because it tends to have a smoother 24-hour coverage (no ups and downs in a day). Side effects might include sleepiness or upset stomach at first. It’s generally not as potent as stimulants in terms of improving focus for most kids, but some respond very well to it.
Guanfacine (Intuniv) and Clonidine (Kapvay): These are actually blood pressure medications (alpha-2 agonists) that happen to also help with ADHD symptoms, especially impulsivity and hyperactivity. They can be great for kids who have tics or aggression along with ADHD. They often have a calming effect, so they’re sometimes given in the evening to help with sleep and next-day behavior, or in the morning for all-day effect (Intuniv is long-acting guanfacine). They can cause drowsiness or lowered blood pressure (hence the importance of a doctor’s supervision). These might be used alone or with a stimulant to target specific symptoms.
Viloxazine (Qelbree): Approved in 2021 for kids 6-17, Qelbree is another non-stimulant that works on norepinephrine. It’s somewhat similar to Strattera in mechanism. Because it’s newer, we’re still learning about its effectiveness, but trials showed it can improve attention and impulse control. A nice benefit is it’s not a controlled substance either, and it has a once-daily extended-release dosing. Side effects can include sleepiness or an upset stomach.
Non-stimulants don’t have abuse potential like stimulants do (stimulants can be misused by teens/adults if not careful, which is why they’re controlled substances). They also tend to have a more subtle effect and can take weeks to reach full efficacy, so they require patience. Some children who don’t do well on stimulants (maybe due to tics, severe appetite loss, or anxiety) might do better on a non-stimulant. Sometimes, a doctor might prescribe both a stimulant (for school hours) and a non-stimulant (for evening coverage or additional help) – it really depends on the child’s needs.
Which is right for my child? This is a very personal decision to be made with your pediatrician (and possibly a child psychiatrist). If your child’s ADHD symptoms are moderate to severe and significantly impairing daily life, medication can be a game-changer. Many parents are astonished to see their child start succeeding in school and feeling happier because they’re not constantly being scolded. On the flip side, medication isn’t magic – it won’t teach skills or completely eliminate behaviors, but it can create a window of opportunity for your child to learn and thrive (for example, they can now focus in therapy or in class to absorb coping strategies).
It’s okay to have concerns like “Will medication change my child’s personality?” Generally, the aim is to find a dose that helps them be their best self, not sedated or zombie-like. If your child seems too quiet or not themselves on a medication, the doctor will adjust the dose or try a different med. The proper dose should just reduce the problematic symptoms (like the child can sit and read for 20 minutes rather than 2 minutes, or keeps their hands to themselves more) while leaving their spark and personality intact.
Also, taking medication now doesn’t mean they have to forever. Some kids take it only during school years; others may continue if needed into high school or beyond. It’s often trial and error and periodic re-evaluation.
Combining Approaches for Best Results
Studies and clinical experience show that combination treatment – medication + behavioral therapy + school supports – is most effective for many children. Medication can address the neurochemical aspect, therapy and parent strategies build skills and address habits, and school accommodations ensure the environment is as supportive as possible. This multi-pronged approach tends to yield the best outcomes, especially for moderate to severe ADHD.
However, every family and child is different. Some families choose to try behavioral interventions first and add medication only if needed (a reasonable approach, particularly for milder cases or younger children). Others may start medication right away to get quick relief while simultaneously working on behavior strategies. There is no one-size-fits-all. A good healthcare provider will respect your concerns and help you weigh pros and cons.
Advocating for Your Child
You know your child best, and you are the central coordinator of their care. Being an advocate means staying informed, asking questions, and ensuring your child’s needs are met in every sphere:
With Doctors: Don’t hesitate to voice any concerns about treatments or to ask for clarification. If a particular medication isn’t working or side effects are tough, let the doctor know – there are many options to try. Keep track of your child’s response to new treatments and communicate that. If you feel your pediatrician isn’t addressing your concerns adequately, you can seek a second opinion or ask for a referral to a specialist (like a child psychiatrist or developmental pediatrician).
With the School: Be polite but persistent in pursuing support. Know your rights – for instance, public schools must provide accommodations for documented disabilities like ADHD under Section 504. Prepare for meetings with documentation (doctor’s notes, your own observations, perhaps samples of your child’s work or behavior logs). When you work with the school, emphasize that you want to partner with them for your child’s success. Recognize teachers have a tough job, so frame requests collaboratively: “What can we do together to help Michael not fall behind? Could we try sending home an extra set of books so we can reinforce learning after his focus fades in the afternoon?”
With Your Child: Involve your child in age-appropriate ways. Help them understand ADHD isn’t their fault – their brain just works differently. Empower them by teaching self-advocacy as they get older (maybe in middle school they can start to speak up to teachers about what helps them, like sitting in the front or getting instructions in writing). Encourage their strengths and interests; ADHD kids often excel in creative thinking, art, sports, or hands-on skills. Remind them that many successful people have ADHD – it’s often linked with high energy, creativity, and persistence.
Self-Care for Parents: Advocating and caring for a child with ADHD can be draining. Seek support for yourself too. There are parent support groups (both locally and online through organizations like CHADD), and counseling for parents can be incredibly helpful to manage stress or feelings of guilt/frustration. Remember the airplane oxygen mask analogy: you need to put on your mask first to best help your child.
CTA: You are not alone on this journey. At South Denver Therapy, we offer comprehensive support for children with ADHD and their families. Our child therapists provide behavior therapy and skills training for kids, and we coach parents on effective ADHD management techniques at home. We can also collaborate with your child’s school and doctor (with your permission) to ensure a cohesive approach. If you’re in the Parker or South Denver area and need guidance, reach out to book an intake appointment. We’re here to help your child shine – ADHD and all!
Related Posts: Learn more about specific ADHD management in our article on Treatment Options for ADHD in Children: From Behavior Tools to Non-Stimulant Meds. If you’re also navigating child anxiety, see Understanding Child Anxiety: Symptoms, Triggers, and When to Get Help for tips.
Frequently Asked Questions about ADHD in Children
How can I tell if my child is just energetic or truly has ADHD?
It’s normal for kids – especially young ones – to have lots of energy and short attention spans. The difference with ADHD is the degree and consistency of the behavior. A child with ADHD will show a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactive-impulsive behaviors across different situations. For example, most 4-year-olds are active, but a 4-year-old with ADHD might literally never sit through a short story, constantly be climbing and in potential danger, or be unable to engage in any quiet activity even for a minute. Similarly, an energetic older child might be a bit forgetful or boisterous, but one with ADHD struggles daily with focus in a way that causes problems (like failing to learn at school despite ability, or having other kids avoid playing with them because they’re too erratic). If you’re unsure, consider the impact: Is your child significantly behind academically or socially because of these behaviors? Do teachers or coaches consistently flag concerns? ADHD symptoms also tend to show up in early childhood (before age 12 at the latest). If issues only appeared suddenly in the teen years, something else might be going on. A thorough evaluation by a specialist can help distinguish ADHD from normal behavior or other issues.
At what age can a child be tested or diagnosed with ADHD?
According to guidelines, ADHD can be diagnosed in children as young as 4 years old, but it’s often around age 5-7 that evaluations happen, when the structure of school highlights the symptoms. Diagnosing very young kids (3-4 years) is tricky because so many little ones are rambunctious and inattentive by nature. Pediatricians will usually first recommend behavioral strategies (and sometimes a referral for parent training) for preschoolers showing ADHD-like behaviors. By kindergarten or first grade, if the behaviors are extreme for their age, an evaluation is more reliable. There’s no single “ADHD test” (like a blood test); it involves questionnaires, observations, and ruling out other causes. If you suspect ADHD in a toddler or preschooler, talk to your pediatrician – they might monitor it over time or refer you to a specialist in developmental pediatrics. For older kids, psychologists and psychiatrists commonly do evaluations. Essentially, there’s no upper age limit – some people aren’t diagnosed until adolescence or adulthood, especially if they have the inattentive type which can be overlooked until schooling becomes very challenging.
Does ADHD mean my child will have it forever? Will they outgrow it?
ADHD tends to be a chronic condition, but its presentation can change over time. Many children improve as they get older, especially with proper support. Hyperactivity often decreases in the teen years – you won’t likely see a 20-year-old jumping on the couch like a 7-year-old might. Some individuals (a minority) may no longer meet full ADHD criteria by adulthood – they’ve effectively “outgrown” it or learned to manage it. However, studies estimate a significant percentage (perhaps 60-80%) of kids with ADHD will continue to have some symptoms in adulthood, even if they’ve learned coping strategies. For example, an adult might still be somewhat forgetful or impulsive, but perhaps they’ve chosen a career that suits their ADHD (lots of activity, for instance) and use tools like planners to stay organized. The key is that childhood intervention improves long-term outcomes. Even if your child always has an ADHD brain, early help means they’re less likely to experience the negative consequences (school failure, low self-esteem, etc.). So, while ADHD may not completely vanish, many people lead very successful, happy lives with ADHD. And some do report that symptoms diminish enough in adulthood that they no longer feel impaired by it.
Should I discipline my child differently because of ADHD?
To some extent, yes – traditional punishment-only approaches don’t work well for ADHD. Children with ADHD often don’t respond to yelling, spanking, or delayed punishment (like “no TV for a week”) in the way parents hope. This is because they have trouble connecting the punishment to the behavior that happened even a few hours ago and often lack impulse control, so punitive measures don’t teach them the skills they need. That said, having ADHD is not a “free pass” for bad behavior. You still set boundaries and have consequences, but the style is more about immediate feedback, rewards, and teaching. For instance, instead of punishing a child for hitting a sibling out of impulse, you would 1) immediately separate and give a brief timeout (immediate consequence), 2) once calm, discuss/teach what to do next time (use words, ask an adult, etc.), and 3) later, praise them the next time you catch them handling a conflict appropriately. You might use techniques like token systems or loss of privileges on the same day (not something a week later). Also, pick your battles – prioritize what really matters (safety, no hitting, etc.) and don’t scold constantly over every minor issue like wiggling or mild messiness, because constant negative feedback can hurt their self-esteem. In short, discipline for ADHD should be consistent but also patient and creative, focusing on reinforcing desired behaviors and preventing situations that trigger bad behaviors. Sometimes standard parenting advice needs tweaking; working with a therapist or reading ADHD-specific parenting books can provide a lot of helpful strategies.
Can certain foods or diets help with ADHD symptoms?
This is a common question. There’s a lot of talk out there about sugar, food dyes, or special diets. The scientific evidence hasn’t found a magic “ADHD diet” that cures symptoms. Sugar doesn’t cause ADHD, though some parents feel their kids are extra wild after too many sweets (it could be the excitement around getting sweets or just normal kid energy). Food dyes and additives: a small subset of children might be sensitive to certain artificial colors or preservatives, and removing those might modestly improve hyperactivity. But this isn’t true for all kids. There is some evidence that omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) can have a small beneficial effect on focus and brain health – they’re not a replacement for treatment, but as a supplement, omega-3s are generally safe and possibly helpful. Overall nutrition matters in the sense that a balanced diet supports overall brain function. Skipping meals or a diet high in junk food could make any child (ADHD or not) more irritable or sluggish. So, ensuring your child eats protein, whole grains, fruits and veggies regularly can aid their mood and energy stability. Some parents explore the Feingold diet (which eliminates certain additives) or gluten/casein-free diets (more relevant for autism than ADHD) – most of these have mixed evidence at best. In general, it’s not harmful to eliminate a suspected food trigger to see if it helps (just be sure to maintain balanced nutrition). Just keep expectations realistic. The consensus is: dietary changes alone are unlikely to dramatically improve ADHD, but healthy eating is an important foundation. Always discuss with your pediatrician before starting supplements or extreme diets. And beware of any product that claims to “cure” ADHD through diet or vitamins – if it sounds too good to be true, it likely is.
What are the three types of ADHD?
ADHD is categorized into three presentations: Predominantly Inattentive, Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive, and Combined Type.
Predominantly Inattentive used to be called “ADD.” These kids (often many girls fall here) mainly struggle with attention, organization, and follow-through. They are not overly active, so they might appear shy, spacey, or like they’re “just not trying.” This type can be overlooked because the child isn’t disruptive.
Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive means the child has lots of energy and impulsivity but may actually be able to pay attention OK, especially for things they find interesting. These are often the younger kids who are constantly moving and acting without thinking. Pure hyperactive-impulsive presentation is more common in very young kids; as they age, if inattention becomes an issue too, they might shift to combined type.
Combined Type is the most common diagnosis – it means the child has significant symptoms in both categories. They’re inattentive and hyper/impulsive.
These distinctions mostly help clinicians describe the child’s challenges. In practice, any child can have a mix, and the predominant type can also change with time (for instance, a hyperactive 6-year-old might become a combined-type 12-year-old once lengthy schoolwork highlights inattention). Knowing the type can guide treatment focus – e.g. an inattentive child might need more help with organizational skills, whereas a hyperactive one might need more interventions for impulse control and physical outlets.
Could my child’s behavior be something other than ADHD?
Yes, it’s possible. Many conditions can mimic or coexist with ADHD. For example, anxiety can cause distraction and restlessness (a worried child might appear inattentive). Depression in children sometimes looks like irritability and inattention. Learning disabilities can cause a child to tune out or act out in class because the work is too hard. Autism spectrum disorder can also have hyperactivity and attention issues, though autism has social/communication differences as key features. Trauma or big life changes (like divorce, move, loss) can lead to concentration problems and impulsivity due to stress. Even something like sleep apnea (if a child snores heavily and isn’t rested) can cause ADHD-like symptoms during the day. That’s why a thorough evaluation is important – professionals will consider all these possibilities. It’s also common for ADHD to occur with other issues; a child might have ADHD and anxiety, or ADHD and a learning disorder, etc. If you try ADHD strategies and nothing seems to be helping at all, it’s worth consulting with a professional to re-examine the diagnosis. That said, if your child truly has ADHD, addressing any coexisting issues (like anxiety or learning gaps) in addition to ADHD will give the best results.
